Tell Me. . .

 

I envisioned you as my all

A miniature of God- My Father

My brother, friend, and companion

You were always a hero in my sight

You had charm and good looks

When your laughter filled the room

I could feel the warmth and richness

Creep/slip into me.

To my very soul

 

No matter what the wind blew our way

I always stood by you

Believing in you and hoping you could be better

No matter what – I loved you

With each failing and destructive step you took

I never doubted what you could be

That you would be good and great

Was a grave understatement to my hearing!

I was in love but not blind

I just hoped for the best

Purely wishful thinking

 

So many things you have done

And so many times my love has been tried and tested

But I never said to myself

“I do not know how much more I can take”

I feel you in me

Like the blood that flows through my veins

For you are a part of me and I, you

Am past all rational thinking

Passed through the thickest of fogs

And stung by the worst of thorns

Am beyond all logical reasoning

What more must I give...

I’m now in a phase

Where going backward is impossible

Going forward – a horror

And staying put – pure torture!

I am lost where I should be found

 

To love you is natural

But takes too much effort

And brings forth pains

Pains that are unbearable for only one to bear

Not loving you on the other hand

I never in my life pictured

How long must this go on?

Are 10 years too short and bearable?

Or 5 years too long to take

Where do I draw the line?

When can I say, “I have had it!?”

 

This is not just anyone

For the blood is truly thicker than water

One, I cannot detach myself from so easily

But tiredness is what I feel

No. I am not tired of trying

Not tired of bearing

Nor tired of looking for a reason to continue

Rather tis my trademark

A habit I have come to accommodate

Aye...

 

I am tired of believing

Tired of hoping and unfortunately

I am tired of loving you

Where does that leave me?

Where does it leave us?

I cannot believe I loved you

For I do not anymore

I neither hate nor dislike you

I feel nothing. Not even guilt or despair

What does that make of me?

What am I?

Envisioning you as my all

Has become a thing of the past

You pulled my last string

This is the last straw

And I have snapped!

Am I wrong?

Tell me. Not you my blood

I want to hear from you instead

Tell me!

The one I loved most

Has dealt me a blow

One I do not know if I can recover from

 

Tell me why I feel nothing

Why after all these years of hope

Faith and love

I then give up

Tell me why I should not give up

To be betrayed time and time again

By “THE ONE”

I desperately hang onto memories

That is quickly fading away

Away into darkness

 

I no longer see the resemblance

Even with the ties existing between us

He has denounced me and renounced his name

I know for a fact that he knows not what he is doing

But I do.

Now, tell me...